If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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