Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
