id be glad to
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
