I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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