i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
