woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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