Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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