Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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