Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
