i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
