I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
