He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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