chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
