do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
