it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm like, not good at living.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
