there's paper in my vomit.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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