Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
