THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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