Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
