After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
