Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
