dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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