I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
