i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
