yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
