If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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