We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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