I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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