you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
