Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
