i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
