i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
