If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
