You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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