I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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