i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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