is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
