WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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