I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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