You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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