I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
