so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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