I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
