I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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