was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Randomize
