we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
