i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
