he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
