hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
