i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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