So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
